re-call the happiness :)

Title: re-call the happiness :)


Im re-calling the 1st time i met dear dear.. haha! Im still wondering how we get together sia.. LOL!! Dear dear u can re-call?


Hmm, basically we have the same interest, music, games and of course both of us are stubborn.. hahaha! I still can remember you msn me and we flooded each other with lots of songs :D .. Telling me about the gal u like.. hahaha! Then Ah Lame and me trying to help u.. haha! But dont know why we ended up together.


Seriously, i still dont know why you fall in love with me? Why me ah? haha!! We haven been going to youtube search for songs. I still remember, everytime after work, you will said, u date me in msn.. :) (to search for songs).. hahaha!!


Our 1st trip together was sentosa and we did had a great time.. :) After that next was Genting.. The ride there was horrible but, we still enjoyed ourself.. :) After which to phuket.. Sad to say not enf :( We only enjoyed 1 day nia.. :( But overall we did enjoyed.. hehehe!!


Im looking forward for more oversea trip with you dear dear.. We can eat, talk, slack and ignore everything.. :) hehe!


But one thing for sure is, we gonna speak up if we are not happy with each other.. I promise i will do so and i promise i will not get angry when you said it out.. But i want u to promise not to get angry also.. Can? And promise to take gd care of your health can? so that we can travel more and eat gd food.. ok dear dear? Next work hard to have a better life ahead.. :)


And of course i will always love and miss you no matter what my dear.. Im missing packing lunch for you then going to work together and going home frm work with u, hving dinner and talking to you at work. :( Im missing slacking and accompany you to smoke. Sometime at night i walked over to ur seat and you are not there.. :( wanna talk to you but u are not there.. :( I dont know when everything will revert to square one.. lol!!


Dear dear, when is our next long hoilday? hehehe!! Anyway, I just wanna let you knw that no matter what im by urself to support you. Let's fight everything together.. :) I wanna tell you, no matter what I will always LOVE YOU! :) Muack!!


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Copyright © 31 March 2011, Thursday 01:27AM
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shag

Title: shag


Im soo shag.. sigh! Cough and sore throat are all with me once again.. damn! Or I should it nv go away. Sigh! Whatever la..


I have lots of things wanna blog but then i cant do so. Sigh! FK it! Anyway, yesterday i was asked "how am I?" I said this back, if you were to ask me now, i will said no gd.. (at that point of time im in office) Then i said, if you were to ask me outside of the office, i will said Im very gd and fine. haha! Everyone luff.. This true ma.. Looking at hw ppl slack and we work so much it so fk up..


Nvm la, Im use to it already. Be it home, r/s, friends, health and work there are so many ups and downs. So confuse.. I can tell you one day, i will just MIA from everything.. Im have been fighting very hard but there are always knock back somewhere or somehow.. :(


Ok ba.. I wanna stop here already.. bye!


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Copyright © 30 March 2011, Wednesday 03:32PM
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what should i said

Title: what should i said


Ppl should show gd example before asking other to do the same thing. Sigh! I get very upset and angry but then i cant said anything.. I should shut my mouth up ba.. The more i see and say, the more upset i get.. Always put urself in another person shoe and you will hv a taste of the terrible feeling.. Maybe one day i should try say without doing.. Im trying my best to ignore.. Show less care and concern.. I believe im over doing it.. This lead to hates.. (hey, im talking about works and everything. Be it dear dear, friends, sister or work.. It's the same)


Sigh! Whatever la.. enf is enf.. Anyway, today went for appt.. The doctor lack of confidence man.. Failure.. I just dont know who to believe now.. And seriously SGH sux.. Last Monday i went to A&E due to cough non-stop for 3months++ close to 4months already.. Doctor did x-ray and said nth went wrong. Today the heart centre doctor mentioned x-ray shown that my left lung have infection.. I was like HUH? The doctor nv told me but he said nth wrong.. Then heart centre doctor ignore it.. This whole heart appt is seem to be wasting lots of my money.. FK U!!


I dont know la.. Well, im doing job hunting.. :D Im still thinking to work or to study? Aww.. Study need money.. I dont have.. Study need lots and lots of time, i dont think i can afford to waste so much time.. Awww..


I find that human are really damn freaking selfish.. And they like to say A but they do B.. Well! I admit sometime im this way.. Why? Why do we behave this way? Hmm.. No one knows except we.. haha!


Ok, i wanna go n night dreaming already.. I dont knw if i can fall asleep.. My nite coughing came back again.. Sigh! I think maybe it is due to not enf sleep.. I dont knw.. Aww.. bye all!!


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Copyright © 29 March 2011, Tuesday 04:37AM
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Ouch..

Title: Ouch..


Tomorrow working... Or i should say later working.. Wondering should i go back for OT again.. Yes, honestly im freaking sleepy.. But that's e only way i can do now..


I hurt my left hand just now.. Ouch... I "accidentally" knocked my hand onto the wall.. Well done! Freaking painful.. >_<"


Well, Friday went for heart scan. Freaking painful scan.. :( I will nv want to go thru this scan again.. I hate it.. Doctor makes me wanna puke a few times.. :( And it made my throat and chest painful.. Throat is e worse.. The whole progress is soo painful..


Monday review result. This will determine everything already. To go or not to go.. Im in between moderate and severe.. There are 3 stages and im between stage 2 and 3.. consider safe? Maybe i no need operation but then will get on and off chest pain.. Hope the doctor say i NO NEED operation :)


Sigh! My mind is soo lost again.. Thinking... Thinking.. Anyway i started eating veg already.. For the sake of dear dear.. How yucky the veg is, i will still eat.. Which i did.. I will carry-on.. This will give dear dear the determination to take gd care of his own health and of course i want to suffer together with him.. I really hope dear dear will carry-on and not just show it to me while im around only.. Im glad u r controlling ur cigarette intake and i really hope u will carry-on.. Seriously, i hope u dont do it just because im around.. I show improvement in coffee intake already.. I will show improvement to take more veg.. Dear dear, let's work together for a gd health.. But then u ask me to control ur diet.. I did but u tend to get angry.. I think u control it urself ba.. Same goes for ur cigarette intake.. Cos u know ur body well.. Maybe i dont understand ur body.. I dont want to get disappointed each time i fail and i dont want u to get angry..


I really hope u will take gd care of urself when im nt around.. Take care of ur wound and eat ur medicine regularly ba.. I beg and please you.. Thank You as well.. Let's Jia u ba. I really love you alot.. That's why im showing so much care and concern. But if u dont like pls tell me.. I will control myself.. :)


Ok.. Time to stop here.. Bye!


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Copyright © 27 March 2011, Sunday 03:27AM
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Scare..

Title: Scare..


Just had my shower.. Went for supper again.. And again, im proud to say that, I finished one bowl of rice :D clap clap... :D


Today went to visit dear dear.. Hope dear dear can recover fast and discharge.. :) Tomorrow visiting him again.. Keep him accompany.. :D After visiting him, i went to work.. Sigh! Today not a gd day.. Got a billing dispute and want to speak to manager. I explain correctly but customer dont believe me.. So she want to speak to manager.. But my manager run away and push to another ppl.. >_<" Then customer hang up.. I think billing team handle liao.. Then end work another dispute for calling back late.. ><" cos ppl sent to us late.. Everyone run away, i have to call.. :( Whatever la, customer request to speak to manager, i shall see who will take tomorrow.. hahaha..


Then i work and work.. Saw the rest slacking and logging off.. I cant log out as there must be someone login to ans call.. Sigh! we were assign lots of case to call again and i didnt touch any today.. Everyone was not answering call, so i cant log out to call mine.. Sigh! Work load is adding on.. Time for OT to clear my cases again.. :(


Sometime i was asking myself, work so hard for what.. Look at the rest.. No pt working hard.. But i felt guilty if i slack.. I dont know why...><"


Im quite scare for friday heart scan.. Called transesophageal echocardiogram (TEE), google search and read up more.. Should have not read, cos it makes me even more scare now.. :( Aww.. No matter what i still have to go for that scan.. This will tell if i need any operation a nt.. Scare sia..


Aiya, dont think so much.. :D Stay calm and happy.. :D Ok ba.. Wanna stop here liao.. Dear dear, I MISS U! :D muack muack..


Signing Off
Copyright © 24 March 2011, Thursday 05:14AM
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DEAR DEAR... I MISS YOU

Title: DEAR DEAR... I MISS YOU


Just had my shower.. Went for supper just now.. Im proud to said, i ate one bowl of rice :D Honestly, im hungry.. Anyway, after dinner back home.. I promise once my hair dry i will SLEEP.. Well, im nt sleepy at all.. I dont knw why.. But i will sleep.. No worries.. I promise..


Well, i really miss my lovely bf so much. Cannot see and chat with him after work is so funny.. Usually at this time we are gaming together.. Aww.. Dear faster recover and get this virus away.. I know u r still reading this.. Soo faster recover k.. I have lots of plan in mind you know.. Maybe this plan will help the both of us.. Help to improve our own health... When u are home, i will tell u.. :D


Today went back to OT. Time past faster when you are busy and it is true. I worked and worked and didnt notice the time also.. Busy! Tomorrow i dont want to OT i want to see dear dear.. :D


Ok, friday i will go for my heart scan. Cos SGH doctor told me to go. He said it is safe even when im coughing. He said must do the scan.. I will go.. If i need to go for operation, I will go.. But then result will only be out next week. Aww, i need leave again.. >_<" I think im only left with 14 days.. Awww...


I wanna thnaks dear dear for seeing doctor... Let the doctor and nurse take gd care of u this few days k? Be good boy.. Play ur game there if u felt boring.. Look at the floor if you miss me.. Im always surrounding u my dear :D


I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. (see ur what's apps, the pic i sent u) MUACK MUACK.. JIA U DEAR DEAR.. I will JIA U AS WELL..


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Copyright © 23 March 2011, Wednesday 05:13AM
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:(

Title: :(


Why is the time moving freaking slow? I dont want to stay at home. At any pt of time i might just take my mum's cigarette and start smoking which i dont want this to happen.. I want to work work work. Faster 1pm so that i can go back to office and work all the way till 2am.. If possible, i really which i can work non-stop for now.. FK the time for moving so slowly..


I dont want to cry anymore. I want to stay happy.. I want to kill my mind off.. I have no mood in anything now.. Logging into game, want to play but my mind is nt there.. My mind is full of worries, scare, disappointment and misses..


Can someone teach me how to keep myself calm? I cant sleep at all..


:( May god bless my bf.. May god bless everyone..


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Copyright © 22 March 2011, Tuesday 08:35AM
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heartache

Title: heartache


Haven stop crying since i reach home. My heart is so painful. My mind is so fuck up.. I dont want to stay at home now.. I need a gd shoulder to cry on.. :( Im so freaking upset and worry.


I need something that can clear my mind out. I need a warm hug.. :( Im so lost now. I cant eat and sleep.. I have no mood for anything now. Im gonna screw up my job again.. Been trying very hard to be careful nt to screw anything up at work just now.


I dont want to stay at home.. I dont want to think so much.. I just want to stay happy but why is that so difficult. WHY?


:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(


I miss you n love you. Blessing for u. Hope you get well soon..


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Copyright © 22 March 2011, Tuesday 04:15AM
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sigh

Title: sigh


Dont want to say much already.. Do whatever thing i want. Sigh! Im suppose to be very tired but somehow im not. Yesterday i cant sleep well.. Every half an hr to 1hr i wake up.. Super damn angry sia..


Give up liao ba.. Hope is just so useless. Nth will happen... FK it..


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Copyright © 21 March 2011, Monday 07:11AM
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pain

Title: Pain


Throat is still so painful.. :( Sigh! Cough, breathless.. Is just all soo sucky.. Today called up Heart centre to change of appt as im still sick.. They dont allow me to do the scan. Was told to called SGH at some number. Then again was told this is not the correct number. Given another number to call the correct dept frm SGH.. Again was told this is not the correct number.. My throat was painful and so I got angry with them.. I said, then what number i need to call? Can you ppl give me the correct number I have been calling and was asked to call another number. Finally I told them straight, give me a direct number to blk 4 lvl 4 at SGH. This solved my problem.


Everybody is talking about bonus.. ><" Im not looking forward.. Mine only 50%.. What to do.. Sigh! Im more interested in our promotion increment paid :).. Been promoted since Jan 2011 but we still dont receive any letter.. ><" Waiting waiting waiting..


I wanna sleep but it seem so difficult for me to sleep.. ><" Trying to sleep later.. Hope i can fall asleep.. 3 days of resting dont seem enf.. Awww.. No different.. I talked less but my throat is still painful.. Im still the same.. ><" Ok ba.. wanna go eat medicine and try to ZzZzZz... Bye!


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Copyright © 17 March 2011, Thursday 07:22AM
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tired

Title: tired


Im so tired yet i cant sleep.. Throat and chest is still pain.. Cough and breathless.. But at least fever went dwn liao.. Doctor told me i cant eat spicy and sour food. Was told nt to drink cold drink and not to sleep in air-con room if can. He said i have a weak lung.. >_<" I nv sleep in air-con room le..


Phlegm that i cough out is dark green with blood. >_<" But i dont why the doctor nv give me antibiotics.. hmmm... Sign... Must use the inhaler again.. Morning and night.. :( I dont like it.. Awww.. Hope to get well soon.. The cough is just so pain in the ass..


Er jie and mei mei on holiday now. Cool. Hope they enjoy.. :)


Miss dear dear so much.. Believe he is gaming now. Forever without fail.. haha!


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Copyright © 16 March 2011, Wednesday 04:39AM
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Time to be non lamer

Title: Time to be non lamer


Today took leave as im sick once again. Since Saturday i hv a terrible sore throat.. Freaking painful. Cough,flu and on and off fever.. I believe it might be due to nt enf sleep ba. How am i suppose to have enf sleep when my mind is still working?


Sigh! Lots of thing to blog.. But i dont know hw to start so that i dont hurt anyone.. >_<" Aww.. Forget it..


Just now checked email and got 2 gd news.. Time to make my angry customer happy this Friday as he want me to callback with a gd new on Friday.. Another gd new is at least i finally know that there is still ppl really appreciate me for helping them to resolve their issue. :D Thank you!


Well, is time for me to be normal at work already.. Not gonna be a lamer. Just be a workaholic.. Work hard... :D More OTs coming up (maybe..) But ppl at work is just so fk up.. Im just so scare..


Sigh! My throat is still freaking pain.. I felt so upset. Im so confuse. And shit, i need to postpone my heart scan once again. It suppose to be on Wednesday.. But im working and was told if im sick, im nt allow to do the test. Oh well..


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Copyright © 15 March 2011, Tuesday 02:30AM
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upset

Title: upset


Freaking upset.. Just dont understand why. sigh! Work... Sigh! Shut my mouth ba.. I just cant be bother.. Die die lo..


Trying hard to smile more at work but kinda hard.. >_<" Really dont understand.. Very confuse mind.. Well well well..


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Copyright © 11 March 2011, Friday 06:52AM
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hao fan wor

Title: hao fan wor


Im still awake.. Hmm, been coughing alot at night and thinking alot. My mind just cant stop thinking. Im not tired. Took cough medicine and hopefully it can make me sleepy. If not i dont think i can sleep.


Past 2 days dont have mood to play game.. :( Maybe after work, the mood is not there anymore.. If not maybe cos im too fan already? I dont know. Sigh!


Work is just another day of what the fk.. That's what i can say.. I cant be bother.. As long as i do my job.. Right now, i dont mind taking all sort of rubbish already ba.. Kena then kena already.. Only thing i can say is i sway ba.. Listen to the wrong adv and taking the wrong step.. Since im on this line now, i have to move on. Believe one day it will be a one fine day.. :) At this moment just keep quiet and move on.. Yeah!!


I have been asking myself alot of questions.. But some i just cant ans it. Oh my.. Hmm.. I shall ask myself again... Sitting down thinking does help alot.. :D At least the decision i make is not rush decision. Then frm there i wont make a wrong decision again.. :D


Ok ba! Wanna try sleeping already. Later is another day of work.. Smile!! :) Bye!


Signing Off
Copyright © 10 March 2011, Thursday 07:43AM
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Sigh, regret

Title: Sigh, regret


Im still so sick.. Cough, chest pain and on and off fever.. Damn.. >_<>


Im thinking of working part time and slowly leave this place.. But i think i cant do that now.. Believe is time for me to keep quiet at work soon.. Sigh!


Im getting very irritated by some ppl. I have a limit.. Stop forcing me. Aww.. Er Jie n mei wanna play mj but i dont want. Dont feel like playing. Nt well to play also. sob sob. Anyway, kel also not free to play.


I think this blog will be closing soon/ set to private soon. Cos i cant blog everything out. I can only blog bit by bit. Sigh!


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Copyright © 05 March 2011, Saturday 02:45PM
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kao

Title: kao


Dammit.. Im having chest pain.. I believe it could be the cough. Nth got to do with my heart.. My medicine for cough is finishing soon and Im still coughing.. ><" Really dont knw what to do.. Tired of visiting to the doctor.. :(


The pain can just come out of no way.. Just nw, I was playing game and out of no way i got the pain.. Causing me having difficulties breathing.. Now still in pain but after using inhaler im nt so breathless already.. Sigh! I dont know why it take soo long for me to heal.. >_<"


Im kinda pissed off already. Esp with so many things and stress coming to me.. FK... Im going nuts soon.. Well, of course im not giving up.. No matter how much im gonna suffer i will still fight on.. I just have to do my best to be strong lo.. Is just that i may get quick and hot temper.. But i wont give up..


Im missing dear dear. Hope he is fine. I love you dear..


ok.. Dont want to blog anymore just in case i make ppl angry.. Bye..


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Copyright © 04 March 2011, Friday 11:44AM
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shag

Title: shag


Im soo sleepy. Sleepy since i started work. Going to sleep after blogging. Yesterday woke up still the same but i have to go to work. No choice. But at least after taking my medicine fever gone :) Only problem is the cough, sore throat and chest pain. Cough too much already. Have try everything that's possible but cough is not going off.. HOW? Phlegm is in green and blood color.. sigh!


I was told i slim dwn.. Aaa.. I not sure. But i think no.. haha! I dont care.. Just want to recover fast.. And hope dear dear toes are fine.


As for work.. Really dont know what to say. I can say no comment. So many ppl leaving soon.. Haha! Just hope everything goes well.. Im waiting for my increment then i will decide.


ok wanna stop here already. Bye!


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Copyright © 04 March 2011, Friday 07:51AM
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should have go to work..

Title: should have go to work..


Today went for doctor appt.. Im suppose to be early but who knows waited for more than 30mins there is no cab at all. While waiting i even tried calling, there was no cab as well.. Job well done.. Anyway, I manage to board the cab only close to 11am (which i should be at SGH at 11am)..


When i called up to change of appt last mth was told appt is at heart centre. Went all the way there and the freaking cab driver is fucking busybody and talk so much. Once i reach heart centre was told I have to go to SGH blk 4. -.-" Reach there i tot i was at the wrong place cos blk 4 lvl 4 are all patient ward.. Then i notice i have to be in the ward to do heart scan.


However, im asked to come back another day due to high fever and cough.. The doctor said the tube have to be inserted for quite long and there will be lots of saliva and he scare it will cause infection to my heart and it will irritate my throat and i will cough.. I should have just tell him to proceed.. Sibei lazy to go back another day.. I dont want to take another waste leave just for this. Doctor want to give me mc but i said no need.. Sigh!


I should have go back to work just now. Although im having fever and having freaking bad sore throat and cough i believe if im at work i will think less.. Whatever it is, dont have to worry im taking care of myself... Body seem freaking weak that i just dont have the mood to play game.. Damn.. Just kill me ba.. Enf is enf.. Sigh!


Awww...


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Copyright © 02 March 2011, Wednesday 07:15PM
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-.-

Title: -.-


Have been having on and off fever.. Cough and sore throat.. Awww.. Scare of tomorrow appt.. -.-" Sigh! I scare the doctor want me to go back another day.. It can be gd new and it can be bad new.. Shall see how tomorrow..


Work.. Erm... No comment.. Dont want to comment.. hahaha!!! Sigh!! I dont know hw to blog.. ZzZz..


Aiya, forget it.. Will just stop here..


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Copyright © 02 March 2011, Wednesday 06:00AM
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